Children, there is only one more thing more fucked up than this young man's head.
What is it you may ask? Why, it is his national football side.
As an Australian of relatively recent English descent, I will admit to initally being a little disappointed this morning. That feeling of sadness didn't last long - on reflection I'm ecstatic that England failed to qualify for Euro 2008. There are a number of reasons for this, namely:
1) The team simply didn't deserve to go through, and qualification would merely have covered up the shortcomings of both management, support staff and the squad that have been so blatantly obvious this campaign.
2) In my opinion, this provides the FA with a (sort of) blessing in disguise. They now have the opportunity to make some changes to the set up without the pressure of an international tournament looming on the horizon. They won't be forced in to knee-jerk reactions - they can take some time and do things properly, with a view to building long term success.
3) McLaren was a poor manager, and I would rather him be punted now than for him to keep his job and see the side do poorly at Euro 2008. Under his control, what I feel is a talented group of players would never have reached their potential.
For an in depth analysis of the tactical shortcomings of one S. McLaren, I draw your attention to this morning's match.
The general consensus amongst footballing media was that McLaren had finally grown some balls with his decision to drop Paul Robinson and bring in Scott Carson. Perhaps, however I am of the opinion that any potential increase in the size of his nuts was accompanied by an unfortunate corresponding decrease in the size of his footballing brain.
Why throw Carson in to a match as big as this? He only made his international debut last Friday!
I know the lad kept a clean sheet on his EPL debut against Man Utd, and I know he has held out Juve in the UCL, but I feel this morning's match was just too crucial to throw him in the deep end. I was all for dropping Paul Robinson, however I agree with young Michael Long's thoughts, and even said as much to my old man last night before the game. David James should have got the gig.
And why was Golden Balls sitting on the sidelines? We all know what this man is capable of in England's hour of need. But he is more than a dead ball specialist, and I feel his experience and ability to actually pass the football, not to mention the sheer passion he displays when pulling on the three lions jersey, were pivotal to England's hopes of success. To give Becks 45 minutes to pull something out of his arse, when the team was playing like shite and were already 2-0 down and chasing the match, was criminal from McClaren.
I could rant about a lot more - England playing at Wembley with a solitary man up front, the mere inclusion of Wright-Phillips on the pitch, whether it be in place of Beckham or not, and the persistence with a Gerrard - Lampard midfield combination that has less chance of gelling than Jamie Carragher kitting up for Everton.
McLaren, it must be said though, is not solely to blame. I am forever mystified at how the English players, who are absolute world beaters for their club sides at the weekend, turn in to complete muppets for their country. I am yet to see a Steven Gerrard performance resemble anything near what he has ever produced for Liverpool.
I've often thought about his conundrum, and have actually come up with a theory on it. Obviously in any football match your own ability is key, but could it be possible that a large part of how good a footballer you are is determined by those playing around you?
It's all well and good for Rooney to feed off footballing superstars like Carlos Tevez and Cristiano Ronaldo at the weekend, but can you rely the same quality from a Wright Phillips, Wayne Bridge or heaven forbid, a Stewart Downing?
Frank Lampard can push forward more at Chelsea, playing off one of the world's best centre forwards in Didier Drogba, knowing that Claude Makelele will always be covering him. John Terry is an absolute rock in that same side - yet if he does succumb to error, his blushes are more often than not spared by Petr Cech. Unfortunately JT isn't afforded the same level of insurance with Tank Robinson behind him.
Whatever the reasoning, it is clear this group of players, management, support staff, and dare I say the FA, has failed and failed miserably. I reiterate though that I am glad they did - not because I hate the Poms, but because I want them to become a superpower of world football once more, and for that to happen, changes need to be made.
As I finish this blog, it appears they have already started, and the rebuilding process has just begun. Don't let the door hit your arse on the way out Macca.
For an in depth analysis of the tactical shortcomings of one S. McLaren, I draw your attention to this morning's match.
The general consensus amongst footballing media was that McLaren had finally grown some balls with his decision to drop Paul Robinson and bring in Scott Carson. Perhaps, however I am of the opinion that any potential increase in the size of his nuts was accompanied by an unfortunate corresponding decrease in the size of his footballing brain.
Why throw Carson in to a match as big as this? He only made his international debut last Friday!
I know the lad kept a clean sheet on his EPL debut against Man Utd, and I know he has held out Juve in the UCL, but I feel this morning's match was just too crucial to throw him in the deep end. I was all for dropping Paul Robinson, however I agree with young Michael Long's thoughts, and even said as much to my old man last night before the game. David James should have got the gig.
And why was Golden Balls sitting on the sidelines? We all know what this man is capable of in England's hour of need. But he is more than a dead ball specialist, and I feel his experience and ability to actually pass the football, not to mention the sheer passion he displays when pulling on the three lions jersey, were pivotal to England's hopes of success. To give Becks 45 minutes to pull something out of his arse, when the team was playing like shite and were already 2-0 down and chasing the match, was criminal from McClaren.
I could rant about a lot more - England playing at Wembley with a solitary man up front, the mere inclusion of Wright-Phillips on the pitch, whether it be in place of Beckham or not, and the persistence with a Gerrard - Lampard midfield combination that has less chance of gelling than Jamie Carragher kitting up for Everton.
McLaren, it must be said though, is not solely to blame. I am forever mystified at how the English players, who are absolute world beaters for their club sides at the weekend, turn in to complete muppets for their country. I am yet to see a Steven Gerrard performance resemble anything near what he has ever produced for Liverpool.
I've often thought about his conundrum, and have actually come up with a theory on it. Obviously in any football match your own ability is key, but could it be possible that a large part of how good a footballer you are is determined by those playing around you?
It's all well and good for Rooney to feed off footballing superstars like Carlos Tevez and Cristiano Ronaldo at the weekend, but can you rely the same quality from a Wright Phillips, Wayne Bridge or heaven forbid, a Stewart Downing?
Frank Lampard can push forward more at Chelsea, playing off one of the world's best centre forwards in Didier Drogba, knowing that Claude Makelele will always be covering him. John Terry is an absolute rock in that same side - yet if he does succumb to error, his blushes are more often than not spared by Petr Cech. Unfortunately JT isn't afforded the same level of insurance with Tank Robinson behind him.
Whatever the reasoning, it is clear this group of players, management, support staff, and dare I say the FA, has failed and failed miserably. I reiterate though that I am glad they did - not because I hate the Poms, but because I want them to become a superpower of world football once more, and for that to happen, changes need to be made.
As I finish this blog, it appears they have already started, and the rebuilding process has just begun. Don't let the door hit your arse on the way out Macca.
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